Monday, September 12, 2011

It's so hard when the world can be so ugly so much of the time.

Depression is something that will really hit you hard. It sneaks up on you, pretends to be someone else: someone curious, someone different, it lures you into it's deep, dark abyss, and then suddenly it bites you. The bite is poisonous and this numbness pervades throughout your whole entire body. It enters every crevice and stays, until you decide it's time to kill the pesticide. This pesticide is almost impossible to terminate. Dealing with this thing, depression, it's nearly impossible. It's mostly because you hate yourself. Most people don't know when you're battling depression because the people that are, do the best of hiding their emotions. Only the people that are lucky enough to be there at that very moment of them cracking are able to see what it's really like. It's kind of like having a continuous hatred for yourself, and then when others start to hate you, you begin to hate yourself unbelievable amounts more. This cycle of hatred starts to build up over time and it only takes just one person to crack you, and they sometimes have no idea that they are doing it. But they still do it and you still begin to crumble. Nothing seems to matter, so why keep putting yourself through it? Through life? It takes a really fucking strong person to see why.

2 comments:

  1. fucking beautiful. never stop fighting

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